


The Lies We Tell Ourselves

by under_the_blue_moonlight



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 21:46:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15325044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/under_the_blue_moonlight/pseuds/under_the_blue_moonlight
Summary: The phrase won't stop repeating in his mind... Luckily, Virgil's here to help.(After "Can Lying Be Good?")





	The Lies We Tell Ourselves

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this on my old Tumblr, but that got terminated. So, I'm posting it here.

_Everyone’s favourite character!_

Usually, a compliment like that would make Logan feel good, great even. It was comments like those that fuelled him. You see, not many people know this, but Logan has an inferiority complex. An extreme one. He knew he was the smartest side but didn’t believe it. He needed to hear it, otherwise his perception of his purpose and worth would slowly decrease until there was none left.

So, you’d expect him to feel good about being called ‘everyone’s favourite character’.

Not when it came from Deceit’s mouth.

Lies. It was all lies. He was not the favourite, he was the least favourite. And probably the least used of the light sides. Did Thomas really need him?

No. Not really.

Logan sat of his bed, fiddling with his pyjama sleeve. Thomas was currently asleep, as were the other sides. He was the only one awake.

Three days had gone by since the ‘Can Lying Be Good?’ video, and not one of those nights had included Logan sleeping. He knew it wasn’t healthy, but being alone in a quiet, dark room left him alone with his thoughts. His thoughts telling him he’s not good enough, he’s useless. It sort of made it hard to sleep.

_Everyone’s favourite character!_

Logan felt his eyes going blurry with tears. He willed them not to fall. He hated it. He hated feeling sad. He hated pitying himself. He didn’t deserve it.

He hated these stupid emotions.

_Everyone’s favourite character!_

_Everyone’s favourite character!_

_Everyone’s favourite character!_

‘Logan?’

Virgil was stood just inside the door, looking at the nerd sat on the bed. Virgil’s eyes widened at the sight of Logan. He had bags under his eyes from a lack of sleep, looking very dishevelled. What made Virgil the most concerned was the fact Logan’s eyes were wet and he looked like he was close to crying. Virgil had never seen Logan cry before. In fact, he didn’t think any of the sides had.

‘Oh, um, good evening, Virgil,’ Logan greeted, trying to stop his voice wavering.

‘It’s one in the morning. Are... are you okay?’

‘I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me,’ Logan replied.

‘Don’t lie to me, Lo.’

_Lie. Lying. Deceit._

Tears started to fall down Logan’s face.

_Oh shit! He’s crying! What do I do, what the fuck do I do?! This is Patton’s jurisdiction, not mine!_

Virgil’s mind started screaming. He was tempted to sprint to Patton’s room, slam open the door and beg for help. However, he managed to restrain himself from doing that. Instead, he shuffled over and sat on the bed. He patted Logan on the shoulder awkwardly.

‘Logan, you don’t need to hide anything. Trust me, bottling things up does nothing good. So, tell me, what’s going on?’

‘Why do you care?’

Virgil was taken aback by the question. ‘What?’

‘You’ve never cared about my feelings before. For example, in _A New Year of Lying to Myself_ , you said, and I quote, “Get over it. You’re the least popular character and you know it.” You don’t care about me... just like everyone else...’

‘Logan, I... what are you talking about?! I’ll admit, I was an asshole then, but that was ages ago! What gives you the impression no one cares about you?’ Virgil asked, growing even more concerned.

‘I haven’t had a video centred around me over a year, you know? And anyway, why would people care about me when I’m such a screw up. Whenever I’ve tried to help Thomas recently, I’ve just made things worse...’

‘You mean the Moving On videos? Look, you didn’t mean to cause Thomas harm, you were trying to help him, and it could have worked. Don’t tell them I said this, but it’s sort of Patton and Roman’s fault for not being able to let go. When you tried to talk sense into them, they didn’t listen. If anything, you were the protagonist of that video. I mean, you were the only one to notice how agitated I’d become.’

‘I’m no protagonist,’ Logan shook his head. ‘I’m just a background character. Thomas hardly uses me. It’s probably why I have so little videos focused on me: Thomas’ life is just absent of a need of me. It’s not like the subscribers will care if Thomas just stops featuring me all together.’

‘...Oh... I see. This is about what Deceit said, right? “Everyone’s favourite character”?’ Virgil asked, finally catching on.

Logan paused before his crying turned into sobs.

‘Look, don’t listen to what he says. Him and all the Dark Sides, they’re assholes. They don’t know what they’re talking about.’

Logan didn’t respond, just attempted to wipe his eyes.

‘Did you ever wonder why I was such an asshole in the first few Sanders Sides episodes?’ Virgil asked. ‘It’s because I thought it was my job. Those guys had convinced me that I was a Dark Side. They told me that I was a mental illness whose purpose was to cause Thomas pain and hardship. They made me think I was one of them. But that wasn’t true! You said it yourself, without me, Thomas was acting like a bumbling couch potato man.’

‘He was a complete cotton-headed ninny muggings,’ Logan nodded, smiling slightly.

‘Exactly. Those guys can’t be trusted. Especially Deceit, his whole thing is lying. I’m sure what he said was just a double lie to get this exact effect. To make the emotions you’ve been bottling up for so long become too much to bare,’ Virgil continued. ‘That’s another thing: Lo, don’t bottle up your emotions. I know you don’t like them, and you think they get in the way, but it’s not healthy. Maybe talk to Patton, he could help you with learning how to express them.’

‘Okay... Thank you, Virgil.’

‘No problem. Now, I think you need to get to sleep. The bags under your eyes are so dark, it looks like you stole some of my eyeshadow. And remember, we do care about you. I may have trouble showing it, Roman may tease and taunt you and Patton may make puns that annoy the heck out of you, but we do. Don’t forget that.’ He got to his feet. ‘So long and goodnight, Lo.’

Virgil waved and left the room. Logan wiped his eyes before pulling his duvet over him. That night, he managed to fall asleep, not plagued by Deceit’s voice.

He _was_ good enough, no matter what that snake said.


End file.
